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Me at 3:17 AM in Benin City:

“Last ₦2,000… one more 1win accumulator to flip life forever 😤

1win after 3 days:

“Withdrawal request received ✓

Status: Processing (estimated time: 3–7 business centuries)

Current balance: ₦0.84 (from that one accidental cashback in 2023)”

cut to that depressed loading skeleton meme just sitting there with cobwebs

Me explaining to my landlord why rent is late:

“Bro it’s not me, it’s 1win… they’re still verifying if I’m worthy of my own money 💀

Bank alert at 4 AM:

“Dear customer, your account has received… 47 kobo motivational credit

1win says: ‘Small small, we dey come’ 😭🔥

 

UID: 346834457 

 

 

1win customer support: “Please wait 72 hours sir”

Me after 72 hours: still waiting

My ancestors: “We waited 400 years for freedom, you can’t wait 3 days for ₦8,000?”

We’re not back. We never left the lobby screen. 😭🪦

UID: 346834457 

 

 

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